HENRY: “Hey, are you under there?”
MONSTER: “Yes, I’m under here.”
HENRY: “Okay. Good to know."
MONSTER: “Did you need something?”
HENRY: “Sort of. I mean, I was just wondering if you were going to scare me tonight.”
MONSTER: “Tonight?”
HENRY: “Yeah.”
MONSTER: “You want to know if I’m going to scare you tonight?”
HENRY: “That’s right.”
MONSTER: “Hm.”
HENRY: “So? Are you?!”
MONSTER: “Am I what?”
HENRY: “Argh! ARE YOU GOING TO SCARE ME TONIGHT?!”
MONSTER: “I can’t say that I had really thought about it.”
HENRY: “Oh. How come?”
MONSTER: “Well, it doesn’t feel right yet.”
HENRY: “What do you mean it doesn’t feel right?”
MONSTER: “Basically, all the conditions have to be perfect for scaring you.”
HENRY: “I didn’t realize there were conditions for scaring.”
MONSTER: “Oh, most certainly! First of all, the light needs to be off.”
HENRY: “I can take care of that!”
MONSTER: “Thank you, that’s really very helpful.”
HENRY: “All right — what else?”
MONSTER: “I need to make a few creaking noises.”
HENRY:
“Yes, creaking noises, of course! I love the creaking noises! They are so creepy and they make you wonder, 'What was that? Was it a monster?' So they are super effective for scaring. Go ahead and make those creaking noises that you make.”
MONSTER: “I just did.”
HENRY: “Oh, you did? I didn’t hear them.”
MONSTER: “That’s because you were talking.”
HENRY: “Sorry. Do it again.”
MONSTER: “[Sigh]”
HENRY: “Hey, I heard them that time!”
MONSTER: “Great. I'm very happy for you.”
HENRY: “Okay, now what?”
MONSTER: “It isn’t strictly necessary, but it would help if it were a dark and stormy night.”
HENRY: “Well, looking out the window, it's definitely dark. And started to rain just before I got into bed. I think there was a little thunder, too. Anything else?”
MONSTER: “Not that I can think of, no.”
HENRY: “All right then.”
MONSTER: “So, are you ready?”
HENRY: “I’m ready.”
MONSTER: “Are you sure you are ready?”
HENRY: “I’m sure I’m ready.”
MONSTER: “I just want to be sure that you’re sure that you are ready for me to scare you right now.”
HENRY: “I am three-million-and-eighty-percent sure I’m ready for you to scare me right now!”
MONSTER: “Okay, here goes.”
HENRY: “Yes? I’m waiting.”
MONSTER: “Hang on, I snagged my tail on something."
HENRY: “Take your time.”
MONSTER: “Thanks. It shouldn’t take too long, but you really do have a lot of junk under here.”
HENRY: “I know.”
MONSTER: “I mean, I’ve heard your mom telling you to clean it out, and I guess what I’m saying is you should probably listen to her.”
HENRY: “Can we just get the scaring show on the road? I haven’t got all night.”
MONSTER: “Well, technically, you do.”
HENRY: “Technically, I want to go to sleep soon!”
MONSTER: “All right, all right! Don’t get your quilt in a twist! I’m unsnagged now.”
HENRY: “Finally.”
MONSTER: “Okay, get ready to be scared!”
HENRY: “I am!”
MONSTER: “Here goes ... Boo."
HENRY: “…”
MONSTER:
“Didn’t you hear me? I said ‘boo.’”
HENRY: “That’s it?”
MONSTER: “That’s what?”
HENRY: “That’s your way of scaring me?”
MONSTER: “It was supposed to be — did it not work?”
HENRY: “Not really.”
MONSTER: “Oh, of course! I forgot the most crucial condition for scaring!”
HENRY: “What’s that?”
MONSTER: “The element of surprise.”
HENRY: “Huh. Okay, well -- try again tomorrow night, then?”
MONSTER: “You can count on it!”
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